he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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