I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
