i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize