Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
