using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
