Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
