Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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