Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
