I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
