Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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