Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
