At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
