we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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