I wish they made helmets for livers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We are all done wearing pants today
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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