why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
only if we run a train.
done.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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