I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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