Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
