drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
