Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
