I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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