im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
