the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
