Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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