Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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