Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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