we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
