He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
