vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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