I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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