It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
