I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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