Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize