Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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