please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
