My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
