PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
