We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
