Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
