You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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