Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
