took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize