Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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