if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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