Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
