I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
