So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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