She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
