sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
