like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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