Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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