You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
