Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
