This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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