Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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