..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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