how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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