Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
