were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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