So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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