Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
