please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
